Mackenzie was a beloved daughter and granddaughter, a devoted sister, a favorite cousin, and a loyal best friend to many people who knew her. She possessed a kind and gentle spirit, an uncommon inner peace, a profound sense of social justice, and intellectual curiosity beyond her years. She was never judgmental, hurtful, or boastful. She was a charming comic, a gifted athlete, a passionate lover of all animals, and a blossoming young writer.
She was my sweet, funny, and perfect baby; and for twenty years, I was her doting mother. Raising her and her older sister Savannah is the best work I have ever accomplished; and losing her is the hardest challenge I have ever had to face. In my personal struggle to comprehend my loss and to come to terms with my intense grief, I have created this blog. Through writing, I hope to channel my grief in a positive direction by documenting my sadness, by sharing joy and love through stories of our amazing relationship, and by celebrating her beautiful life.
I called her Mack partly because she was such a tomboy as a kid, but mostly because she always exhibited such admirable inner and outer strength. She called me Momma Bear. While I knew the nickname was her teasing way of challenging my over-protectiveness, I understood that it was also her way of accepting and appreciating my unconditional love for her.
In life, Mack was a total joy. In death, she leaves an enormous hole in my heart. Writing about being her Momma Bear will help me to bridge the gap of love and loss as well as to honor her spirit. In so doing, I will try—-no, I will need—to evoke both her strength and her humor. And, in this process, perhaps there will be some solace and, ultimately, survival.
I look forward to reading this. This is a wonderful idea. It will keep her spirit and stories alive. It will remind me I am not alone in this time of my shattered heart. It will help us all lean on one another and gain strength in numbers. I am honored to have had the opportunity to love her her whole life! Much love Macko
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It’s easy to see where Mack got her writing talent. Stacy, I’m so glad you are doing this. I’ll have to have Graham share a more complete “I’ll impress the beautiful Mackenzie by wearing green pj pants” tale.
Meanwhile, I’m eager to read more about this beloved and inspiring young woman.
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Stacy, I just found your blog and have been crying as I read all of your beautiful posts. Thank you for sharing your stories. My heart is broken for you and your family. I can’t even begin to imagine the depth of your pain. I remember Mack as a toddler chasing after our tennis balls back in Springfield days! I’m grateful to get to know more about the amazing person she was becoming. Thank you for sharing. <3<3
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Thank you, Emily. Writing is providing a constructive outlet for my sorrow. And hearing from people who are connecting with the stories is bringing some solace, as I am desperate to keep alive Mack’s beautiful spirit.
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